energy of resisting pornography, cal. 195
195 is at the level of moral absolutism. Resisting pornography is evidently a losing battle as there is less energy in the resisting pattern than in the pornography itself, and that invites force which is not sustainable and guarantees suffering.
Though pornography has considerable energy, without which it would not be compelling, that energy is manifest in a negative form with negative impact, hence the under-200 calibration results. A common remedy is to seek instead energy that is positive in form and impact, such as physical exercise. However, this tends to be a temporary fix, because it does not address the underlying process.
The long-term solution, it seems to me, is not to attempt to get energy. Getting is a desire pattern that falsely assumes energy is not already available within you, so you're already in a weak posture and a negative pattern.
The seeking, getting pattern, which first shows up in thoughts, can be observed as as it progresses. You get some energy from thoughts, but you want more energy and more thoughts: this is desire in action. Pornography feeds the process until you get the energy you sought.
Knowing observation of this desire pattern will either deactivate the pattern by awareness of its temporary but ultimately unfulfilling nature, or it will bring up your attachment to the getting pattern itself. Probably the latter, at least for a while. Your initial job will be to observe and surrender, observe and surrender.
Committed practice will be required to process out the attachments/blocks that keep you from realizing you don't need external energy or even thought energy. Your unwitting devotion to a desire pattern is the very thing that blocks your discovery of an internal energy source.
Fortunately, a little progress in giving up a desire pattern means a little more energy realized within you, with a corresponding rise in self-esteem, and this is far more significant than simply abstaining from pornography. Consider John 4:14. Jesus said:
whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life
The surrender of desire patterns facilitates energy independence whereby any and all addictions, and thinkingness itself, may be transcended. Thus you find the well of energy within, assuring everlasting life, because you no longer look to form for energy, and this ends samsara's cycle of birth and death.
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