forbiddenness
"The state, quality or measure of being forbidden" -- wiktionary.org
Qualities
prudence
the skill of side-stepping trouble or embarrassment, like having the prudence to avoid risks or the prudence to prepare for the unexpected --vocabulary.com
reluctant
feeling or showing aversion, hesitation, or unwillingness --merriam-webster.com
zealotry
"fanatical and uncompromising pursuit of religious, political, or other ideals" -- Google dictionary
self-evident
"evident without proof or reasoning" -- merriam-webster.com
autonomy
"the quality or state of being self-governing" -- merriam-webster.com
out of control
"no longer possible to manage" -- Google dictionary
backlash
"a strong negative reaction by a large number of people, especially to a social or political development" -- Google dictionary
infantilism
the persistence of infantile characteristics or behavior in adult life
unbearable
"so extreme that you cannot deal with the pain, feeling etc" -- macmillan dictionary
equanimity
"a state of psychological stability and composure which is undisturbed by experience of or exposure to emotions, pain, or other phenomena that may cause others to lose the balance of their mind" -- wikipedia
self-satisfaction
"a usually smug satisfaction with oneself or one's position or achievements" -- merriam-webster.com
stubborn
"refusing to change your ideas or to stop doing something" -- Britannica Dictionary
epic
"heroic or grand in scale or character" -- Google dictionary
weirdness
weirdness, strangeness or oddness, calibrated as a feeling